Bodega Boss: The World of Contractors
Welcome to the second installment of the Onsite Podcast Series, which offers insight into the characters that make up the construction world. If this article gives you PTSD you may not want to listen later this week.
What is a Bodega Boss?
Have you ever hired a contractor to do work and they don’t show up, needle you for more money, or perhaps also offered to fix your plumbing but you hired them for your roof. You have likely dealt with a bodega boss. Similar to stingy shop owners of NYC they have a common thread, which is, they may or not know what the fuck they are doing, but they need your money have the confidence and will to kill you with assurances and promises.
Some Bodega Bosses start out as ex-cons looking for a fresh start (or wash money), while others are just tired of working under another shady contractor and decide to take matters into their own hands. Then there’s the clueless guy who watched a few YouTube videos and figured, “How hard can it be?”. We take a deep dive into who they are, how they run their businesses, their work practices, and when you are going to start to feel the pain. If you’re feeling ambitious and like what you read, we outline a how to guide to getting you started.
The Bodega Boss doesn’t quit, but if you hire him, you just might. Whether you’re looking for a contractor, considering a career in construction, or just love a good disaster story, proceed at your own risk.
Signs you Fucked Up
Any seasoned construction vet knows that the way a job start usually sets the tone for how it’ll go. A smooth beginning isn’t always the prime indicator, but gives some serious insight to what is to come. If you think there are red flags popping up early, well go with your gut, because you are probably right.
At the kickoff meeting If your contractor starts saying things like, “Wow, this is complicated,” “What was my estimator thinking,” or any other basic absurdity consider it your official warning. These are probably not casual remarks, but a soundtrack to a slow-motion train wreck and cost increase.
I had a situation where a contractor was hired by an owner and they never made the bid list and didn’t attend pre-bid walk-thru, but were still awarded the job. Somehow they were the cheapest vendor, but within the first month of the job we were sitting with a seven figure change order, for contract work. Now how the fuck does that happen.
Alternative Business Practices
There is a general accepted way to do things, for most people. If you have found yourself working with Bodega Boss, you might just learn a thing or two. It’s about strategy, they may seem like a bumbling moron, but this is just a ploy. Next thing you know the job is stalled and you have unaccounted upcharges. They’ve mastered the art of survival through some tried and true methods:
- Bid Was only a Suggestion – The bid? What bid? I need to be paid for this. Well why? Because I am going to walkout otherwise. Pay me or find someone else. This is a tried and true tactic employed all the time.
- The Disappearing Act – One minute the crew is there, the next they’ve ghosted harder than a bad Tinder date. The boss? Well he’s got “meetings”, which turns out to be a vacation to their second home.
- The Tail-Light Guarantee – Your warranty is valid for exactly as long as you can still see the contractor’s truck pulling away. Once those tail lights disappear? So does your leverage.
How to UnFuck the Situation
If you find yourself in bed with a Bodega Boss, the unfortunate truth is they already have the upper hand. If you don’t have the balls to fire them before they tear your kitchen apart, well be ready to fight.
Everyone’s first move is to hold back their money. This might seem like the obvious move, but that’s a rookie move. This is the first sign to them you may try and screw them, seems wild right they are fucking you, but meanwhile they are worried they won’t get paid. The less cash flow they have, the less incentive they have to finish the job. Instead, you need to play their game. Killing them with kindness and empathy is your secret weapon. “Oh man, I totally understand that Mikey’s mom died? And then his uncle? And now he’s in jail for robbing a convenience store? What a tough week.” Act understanding, nod along, but never actually giving in. Always press them on the next milestone and when are they going to finish.
When they hit you with extra charges, appear willing, even enthusiastic, but always stall and act confused until you get the price you want. Remember you are dealing with someone who fucks up every job, so whatever angry nuance you think you have, forget it.
And most importantly, be relentless. Call and text them 3-5 times a day. Just a simple How are you? Just checking in. They love that. Nothing sends a Bodega Boss scrambling faster than the client who just won’t go away.
How to Succeed as a Contractor
There are two schools of thought here. If what you have learned so far scars you, take notes and avoid, avoid, avoid. However, if any of this sounds appealing and you want to venture into the business world, here is your blueprint:
- Build a Persona – Look the part. Our favorite look is a dated slick back haircut with a lot of random jewelry and velvet loafers. Definitely a Rolex. Don’t forget the Rolex. Also, a well rehearsed speech about quality first and compelling founder story. Always talk about how your workers have been working for you for 20, 30 years, hell they are your family. Remember truth is secondary here.
- Offer Unbelievable Deals – Hook ‘em in with low prices. The real money is in the change orders. This is so common there is a meme showing a dinghy called original contract and a much larger boat called Change Order. If you don’t know this it is the first result when you google: “change order boat”.
- Cut Corners – Now this one seems obvious, but there are so many subtle tricks that are used, you may even think you are winning. Yes substituting or even skipping steps are the most widely known forms of cutting corners. But without a seasoned vet, you might get swindled and have warranty work, what a package deal. I dealt with a situation where the contractor had all of the correctly branded materials onsite and working diligently. It wasn’t until we read the labels CAREFULLY we realized he was using an adhesive about nine times cheaper than the product specified and was incompatible. As you could imagine, this was a big fucking problem, refer to point 5 for damage control tactics.
- Hire Anyone – Credentials are overrated. If they can hold a hammer, they’re in. We have an instance where the the boss would offer his Uber driver a job and just say hey show up tomorrow. Now this is a creative way to expand the hiring pool, but not so much on quality.
- Bribe (or Attempt to Bribe) – Instead of fixing the problem, guys would rather try and buy their way out. Seems like it makes sense? Right? From our experience most guys are only semi-successful at this. We have seen it all from offering a car to fresh greek olive oil, but this just sets the stage for more fuckery which leads to more headache.
- Disappear When Necessary – If things go south, rebrand. Remember you are not dealing with a corporation, you are dealing with someone who likely has several LLCs with very similar names all ready to go if things go sideway. See You Soon, LLC? Now it’s See You Never.
Final Thoughts
Not every contractor is a Bodega Boss, but if you’ve ever been burned by one or worked for one, the pain is real.
Thanks for tuning in to Onsite. If you’ve got your own Bodega Boss story, drop us a line.
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